Recently, it seems that Mother Nature found some new seasons, and she has decided to test them all in Georgia. Everyone knows the traditional spring, summer, fall, and winter, but not everyone is aware of the extra 8 seasons that Georgians go through every year. It starts with winter: it’s too warm for snow but too cold for normal rain, so any precipitation is unexpected and feared. There may be sleet, hail, or the occasional flurry. On sunny days in winter here in the Peach State, it could be a decent 70 degrees with a nice breeze, or it could be absolutely (below) freezing. There is no in-between. Next, there’s ool’s spring. This season is when the lovely state groundhog, General Beauregard Lee, peaks his head out and pretends to not see his shadow. Georgians rejoice because being located near Hell’s front door has spoiled us with warm weather. After fool’s spring, the second winter approaches, quickly doing away with the t-shirt and shorts. Caught off guard, many Georgia residents freeze and curse the unpredictable weather. Next, spring of deception arrives for an appearance, but the spotlight is quickly stolen by an overload of pollen—the season affectionately known as the pollening. Allergies are at their highest and so are the pollen counts. The allergy medicine market is booming as residents pop a pill or two to catch a breath. Spring, the real deal, has finally come to the stage and spends its time blooming and increasing plant life across the southern state. Summer passes quickly, throwing Georgia onto what feels like Hell’s front porch. Ice cream melts, sweat increases, and air conditioning bills shoot through the roof. After many months of suffering the sweltering heat, Georgia comes to a stop at false fall. Finally, the time for pumpkin spice lattes and fuzzy socks. Psych! Check your weather app because Georgia is back in the hundreds again. Second summer awakens, and thankfully it doesn’t last long before actual fall comes.
Although Georgia’s seasons are plentiful, everyone has their favorites. After much research and overthinking, here are Georgia’s top ten seasons:
Winter is the worst season for many reasons; it’s too cold, homeless animals struggle to stay alive or find sheltering in the freezing temperatures, illness sweeps through public places and takes out anyone whose immune system flinches.
9. The Pollening
The Pollening is not the worst but not the best season either. Again, illness takes over rendering many helpless to allergies clutch. There is some good; plants are blooming and the temperatures are rising but not good enough to be anywhere except for second worst.
8. Fool’s Spring
What was Mother Nature thinking?! She just let all these flowers bloom and grow before crushing them under a blanket of snow from the second winter. How cruel is that!
7. Third Winter
Really? Again with the cold weather? Georgia is over it by now.
6. Hell’s Front Porch
Georgia cannot get a break. From freezing cold to boiling hot, Hell’s front porch is the main culprit for many heat-related illnesses such as heat exhaustion, heat stroke, and severe sunburns. Make sure to drink lots of water and apply sunscreen liberally.
5. Second Winter
Oh, neat. Another winter.
4. False Fall
Why would you trick someone like that? Yes, Halloween may be on the way but this is no time for jokes, Mother Nature.
3. Spring of Deception
Same old trick but a different season.
The beach and a breeze? Sign Georgia up! This is the perfect season to enjoy a nice popsicle with friends during the day and watch fireworks at night. Summer is great.
1. Actual Fall
What a perfect medium for the average person! Not too hot and not too cold. Everyone is happy, even Goldilocks. Actual fall has no flaws when it comes to Georgia’s seasons.