who are you?
you’re not the person i knew for years.
you were by my side all that time,
told me you felt for me and shed so many tears.
you wanted me for so long; the person you thought you loved.
you get to know me, then there are no chimes.
chimes that express and play the sound of the feeling you had for me.
they all go quiet . . .
silence; all because the person you had in your mind wasn’t existent.
there was such a past,
a past of mine that you weren’t informed of.
not until you found out, you broke down,
told me i wasn’t the person you thought i was.
then is this even love?
no, it’s not love.
it was all just a fantasy;
a fantasy of a girl that was all in your head.
were you even happy with me?
so many toxic moments, all because of this fantasy.
i said i was sorry, but i’m not.
not any apologies for what i have been taught.
i have learned,
i have learned from it, and my past should not define who i am.
mistakes, everyone makes them,
but what makes you better than i?
no one is perfect, and no one ever will be.
can’t this be something you can finally see?
something you can finally understand?
i’ll go where my father and his family are, and tell him about everything…
lay in the sand,
thinking about what i did wrong:
you just had a dream,
a dream that cannot come true.
you used me,
told me you loved me, but that is not truth.
sit here thinking about how i could’ve been with things.
but i did sit, feeling guilty.
but why guilty?
“you’re dumb for this,” i tell myself.
and it should be, but it’s hard,
because my emotions are something i cannot control at times.
i would go back , but i can’t,
not after everything you have done to me.
your true colors bursted like my heart did for you.
i can’t do this anymore,
because now i know what is true.