Kevin Terry, Contributing Writer

BandKid37: If you could play any instrument what would it be?

Coach Terry: I’ve been working on some piano stuff lately. It’s coming along okay. But if a musical genie was to grant me any talent I desired, I would choose Upright Bass. Nothing looks cooler than an Upright Bass.

GranolaBar14: Do you prefer the beach or the mountains?

Coach Terry: They both have lots of songs written about them, and I love them both. Forced to choose…I would go with the beach, but only because I really like seafood!

HipHop26: At a party would you be the one on the dance floor getting down or in the corner staring at everybody?

Coach Terry: I have never been invited to a party. But if I did go to a party, I would stand in the corner…not staring at everybody, just acting annoyed like the party was lame and I had much better places to go and much cooler people to hang out with. That’s my plan if I ever get invited.

Livesin2006Girl: How do you feel about Miley Cyrus?

Coach Terry: I have to admit “Old Miley” was fairly good in that piano movie. At first she was all tough and angry. She hates everything and everybody. But then that dude is pretty hot and then she saves those turtles. And her dad is all “Play the piano while I make this stained glass window.” She’s like “Whatever!” Then his health turns bad and she finishes the song and everybody cries a lot. Good stuff. I kinda miss the “Old Miley.” This ”New Miley” is a freak. What’s up with that girl? P.S. I miss Hannah.

SwizzleFan6: How do you feel about Taylor Swift?

Coach Terry: She’s really not that great of a live singer… but I guess a decent entertainer overall.  I guess she’s a moderately talented writer, although a lot of her songs are the same theme. I wish I could date her just so I could dump her and she’d write a song about me. 

RetroNick25: What was your favorite Nickelodeon TV show in the 90’s?

Coach Terry: If we’re going old school, I’d say Ren and Stimpy. The combination of an emotionally unstable Chihuahua and an extremely dumb cat is an undervalued partnership in today’s entertainment industry.

Wanderer39: Where is the farthest you have traveled from the US?

Coach Terry: I’m not sure about the mileage but I’ve been to England twice and France once. Northern England seems far away. I took a train from London to York. I walked around for a while. I bought grapes. They had seeds.

AussieDeutsch12: Would you rather go to Australia or Germany?

Coach Terry: I might want to go to Germany simply because I would feel better about myself when I couldn’t understand the language. If I went to Australia, knowing that they speak English…and I still couldn’t understand anybody, I would feel terrible. Plus, I love sausages.  

ToysAnnonymous32: What was your favorite toy as a kid?

Coach Terry: We didn’t really have toys back then, just rocks and dirt clods. I preferred dirt clods.

Dictator94: If you could be ruler for a day, what changes would you make to society?

Coach Terry: I’m not really sure, but more businesses would offer free popcorn like the Ace Hardware. I promise you that would happen.

Nostalgia64: What’s your favorite childhood memory?

Coach Terry: Slinkys, Rubik’s Cubes, Pac-Man, Bon Jovi New Jersey. You know I take back Rubik’s Cubes. Those were so frustrating….peeling all those stickers off, trying to get them back on just perfect so no one would know that you cheated.

 ApolloHoax44: If you had the money to go anywhere, where would you go and what would you do?

Coach Terry: I think it would very cool to be the first human to walk on the moon. I don’t know how close the technology is to getting us there, but I hope it happens while I’m alive.

Voldemort66: I hate bacon. How do you feel about that statement?

Coach Terry: It’s inconceivable. You might as well have said, “My favorite color is pancakes” or “I don’t believe in centrifugal force.” It just doesn’t make sense.

 BrownNoser3: How do you keep your class so quiet and on task all of the time?

Coach Terry: Good question. It’s not as easy as I make it seem. Lately, my biggest enemies have been disgusting jelly beans, fedoras, and moderately to severely psychotic Empress candidates.  Fortunately, most of my students are extremely mature and can ignore such distractions.

 CuriousityKilled78: What is a little known fact about you?

Coach Terry:  In college, I got half of the periodic table of elements tattooed on my back. My plan was to finish it when I saved up some money, but by then I had changed my major to Social Studies. I really wish I had at least finished the noble gases. It would have come in handy when I’m grocery shopping and need to find the number of moles in a box of macaroni and cheese.

 Walker55: The apocalypse is here, zombies are everywhere. Where would you hide?

Coach Terry: You’ve seen those original Hummers? The military ones? I would set up in one of those. The safest way to kill a Biter is to smash their brain with a Hummer. If I got hungry, I could just drive through the Sonic for some tots.