I have come to the conclusion that the most unhappy feminists who claim that men and women should be equal in every way are, in fact, out of their mind. Now before you start calling me a misogynistic pig, privileged white male, or entitled bigot, hear me out.

If I treated women the same way that I treat other men I am friends with, they would hate me and rightly so. There are exceptions to every rule, but for the most part, you should NOT EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER IN YOUR LIFE call a woman fat. Fat shaming a woman is a no-go. You will be persecuted by the rest of the world if you do it, and that woman will hate you for the rest of your life. With a man, however, you can say pretty much whatever you want, and they don’t care. For example: If a woman is wanting to lose weight, you NEVER say, “Dang! You look big today! You need to shed a few pounds.” That is a death sentence. If one of my buddies said to me, “ Look at you! You’re disgusting! You look like a worm who was rubbed on the floor of a barber shop!” I would laugh and agree, because I know it’s true, and it is funny. Don’t ever say anything like that to a woman. Ever.

Secondly, when any woman in your life—be that a sister, girlfriend, wife, grandmother, mistress, or grandmother—is sad and complaining about something that happened to them, you can’t treat them like you would one of your buddies or any other guy you know. You need to say four words: “I understand; I’m sorry.” Then you dust off your hands, and the work is done. They don’t want you to tell them HOW to solve the problem they are facing with steps and a fool-proof plan: they just want you to shut up and listen, and if you want a happy relationship with them, then you will.

In closing, complete equality in these aspects would destroy a girl’s self esteem and wreck any confidence she had, therefore heed my words,  and I promise you that your relationship with whichever woman you are talking to at the time will blossom and flourish. No need to thank me, because I care about you.