Recently, I have been thinking a lot. I feel as if maybe this is me coming to a realization about life and maybe even possibly still being in the process of a spiritual awakening. The universe has been on my mind a lot, and it has been freaking me out. This may seem odd, but there are explanations.

The fact that we are living on a planet that is floating in space was really making me feel uneasy. You may be thinking: “But you’ve lived here all of your life, so why are you just now terrified, or why are you even terrified at all?” It would freak me out because I started to realize the curve of the sky and that we are just on this big floating ball that we don’t feel rotating in space. This fear is called Astrophobia, which is the fear of space; I can feel myself getting over it. I had dissociation for over two years, and I still disassociate at times, but I am beginning to feel like I am waking up from this “dreaming” phase and starting to see how this world we live in really is. I was very disconnected from the world for the longest time, and starting to feel connected again is making me realize where we all really are. If you really think about it, we are just little ants on a big ball in the middle of nowhere. I mean, after some time, I realized that it’s not the middle of nowhere; it is where Earth is supposed to be and on the path that Earth is supposed to move and rotate on. This is the same for all other planets in the solar system, and I just had to realize that everything is connected. I realized it when my sister told me. 

It is kind of sad though, how we were given the privilege to live on this planet, and yet we have to pay to live here when we had no choice. I know that most would say, “But that’s just how life is, all about money.” Well, when the world first existed, there was no money or paying to live here, because this is everyone’s home. But there is a government, laws, controls, etc. It makes me sad and seems so messed up, but it’s the only way that people keep everything under control and bad things from happening.

Space was also freaking me out because I was thinking about the possibility of Earth just falling out of nowhere, but then I realized that it can’t because of science. Although I can still get anxious and scared when I think about things happening, even when they aren’t possible. A relative of mine sent me a scene from the movie “After Earth” that stars Will Smith and Jaden Smith. In the scene, the character that Will Smith plays explains how fear does not exist but danger does. He also explains that fear is a choice and that it is just the concept of thinking about what could happen, without even knowing if it would happen, instead of focusing on the present moment. After watching that scene, my whole view was changed.

All in all, over time I realized that the universe is an amazing and beautiful thing, and I just need to think about it like this: I was born here, I have always lived here, and I am just realizing where I’ve always been. I realized that this is where I belong, and I need to calm down and not think too much about it. Life is a beautiful and amazing thing, and us living on a planet is actually super cool.