InTERRYgation: Chronicles of Despair

It’s that time of the year, where we sit down and ask the questions on the school’s mind with everyone’s favorite coach, Mr. Terry.

Cade Stone: You knew I was coming. So, why didn’t you break out the fine China?

Coach Terry: This COVID, you know, we’re just really, really scared of anything China right now. So I just wasn’t sure how you’d feel about me using that fine China.

CS: Um, also that chair you’re sitting in is for Presidents. How dare you sit where he once sat.

CT: Okay?

CS: Are you scared of Ronald McDonald? Why or why not?

CT: I am a little scared but, at the same time, I love the guy. It’s one of those things were I love the products that he’s pushing, and so I’m willing to get past a little bit of clown fear to get some delicious nuggets or, you know, delicious burgers. But I don’t wanna get too close to the clown himself.

CS: What mascot could you beat in a fight?

CT: Wow. Wow. I think any mascot is like a suit with a giant head. I think they’re very vulnerable ’cause all you gotta do is walk up to here, turn that head around, and then start wailing on them. You know what I mean?

CS: The Sharpie™  above the library keeps calling my name like a Mayan temple. Can you help me touch it? 

CT: Negative. You don’t know all the bad things that will happen if you ever touch that thing.

CS: If touching said Sharpie™ brings upon a curse, can I blame it on you?

CT: Absolutely not. I’ve warned you. Do not touch the Sharpie™. 

CS: Have you ever been cursed?

CT: Currently.

CS: What are your thoughts on Cyber Monday?

CT: I love Cyber Monday. I love all the deals. You got to go online though of course. Don’t go to the store or that would be silly.

CS: I actually bought a drone last year on Cyber Monday. Do you want to come up to my house and fly it with me?

CT: Absolutely. That sounds like a good idea.

CS: …

CT: Wait a minute, nevermind. No. Terrible Idea.

CS: Why’s that?

CT: I don’t know.  It’s like COVID or something.

CS: You coming to that party tonight?

CT: Negative.

CS: COVID?

CT: COVID.